3 November 2011

I'm tired of being a grown up.

I'm tired. Tired of being a grown up and having to be all sensible. I'm tired of responsibilities and always worrying about others. I'm fed up with being stressed about life as it is at the moment. Right now I just want to throw the mother of all paddies - and then have someone give me the hugest hug and tell me that everything will be ok.

I've had enough of the insecurities. I hate not knowing where my hubby will be working next year. I hate not knowing when his job will move. I cannot cope with not knowing. I'm a planner. I need to know things so I can start making lists and look ahead.

I worry about my husband taking on a ridiculous commute to get to work. I worry about him having to stay away every week to work. I worry about having to be on my own with the children 24/7. I want a healthy family life. I want us to live near to our workplaces but I am scared about moving my daughter out of her comfort zone at school. I fear for how she would cope.

I want to return to work next year. I need to know where we will be next year. I am clearly very insecure and worry all too easily.

BUT I have to be strong. I have to STOP getting down for the sake of these two....

They are my world and all I want is what is best for them. And I have to be a grown up.


  1. Oh my dearheart :( I am sending you a HUGE hug, the BIGGEST HUG in the whole world. I know things seem stressy and shit at the moment, but be strong and be patient and soon you'll get some news about your situation. It might not be the best news, but at least you'll know, and you'll be able to plan, which is clearly what's driving you potty at the moment. All my fingers and toes are crossed for you, more hugs, more kisses X X X

  2. I'm so sorry you are going through all this stress at the moment. I'm with Motherventing, once you have some news you will be able to work with it and things will look better. In the meantime happy work vibes coming your way. If you could just reciprocate that would be great too (the Mr's temporary contract has just ended and no new one in sight. eek)

  3. I feel for you completely. I'm a planner and living in limbo is sothing I find extremely stressful.

    If it helps I moved house and schools just before my 7th birthday. It seemed like the end of the world at the time but I adjusted very quicky and was happy. I don't know how old your daughter is?

    Being a grown up absolutely sucks sometimes and I feel like throwing myself on the floor and having a massive tantrum sometimes. Sending you lots of love mummylawyer xxx

  4. Poor you - its is not easy being the responsible one all the time. Sometimes I just want to run away screaming "But whhhyyyyy??" When stuff happens that I then have to deal with. You are stronger than you think and have a great network of supportive buddies - keep going and one day you'll turn around and realise that whatever it was, you got through it and it wasn't so bad. Xxx

  5. Hello, I totally get where you are coming from. It is hard when you don't know. I moved A LOT when I was younger, It's helped me become more sociable, So don't worry about your kids if you have to move.
    p.s Love the new look! x

  6. I really feel for you. I hate it when these things are out of your hands and you just have to wait and see. I moved a lot as a child and while it can be stressful at the time everything settles back to normal pretty quick so I'm sure the kiddies will cope either way. Big hugs. x

  7. Poor you! I have been wallowing in self pity this week worrying about money and jobs and everything that comes with it. I am sure that the kids have picked up on it too as they have been hard work this week too! Insecurity is a horrible thing, but you are obviously a lovely and devoted mum and that is the most important thing!

  8. I'm so sorry about your situation. That's been me lately: three homes in 11 months, impotent follower of husband's jobs. Played havoc with my two great loves: planning and my gardening, not to mention the kids' schooling. But you're already doing one therapeutic thing which is writing down your frustations. Venting them in black and white does seem to help make sense of an unravelling world. The other useful tip is gin picnics - the higher the altitude the better.

  9. Being patient is shit sometimes - but unavoidable. I hope you get some information soon.

  10. Oh bless, I feel so similar it can be so hard being bigger!

    Paint a smile on and it will get better xxx

  11. Oh VIV! Sending you a HUUUUGGE Bear Hug ((((squeeeeeezzzeee))))

    Pear Cider my friend. You need a big fat pear cider. And a bit of cake.

    This too shall pass. Loves. Mwah xxxxxxxxxx

  12. Just realised I didn't actually comment on this post. I hate reading things on the mobile it's too hard to comment.

    I think you're allowed to have a wobble and not want to be an adult when times are tough. I hate uncertainty too. My hubby's job has changed so many times over the last year and I never know what shift he's on. I love to plan everything and know what we're up to and so find it really hard.

    I think it's hard when it's changes happening to them as well, but they still affect everyone else. It's much easier when it's you having the big changes. Anyway I don't think you are worrying too easily. They are legitimate worries. I'm sure it will all work out though.

  13. Thank you everybody for commenting. I know I have to smile on for the kiddies and I have talked more with the OH which has definitely helped to ease some of my worries. Still, nothing is straightforward and I need to learn to be patient. Thanks again, it really helps blogging it all out!


I appreciate all comments, thank you! x x

© 76 sunflowers

This site uses cookies from Google to deliver its services - Click here for information.

Blogger Template Created by pipdig