16 May 2012

#ISpy.......a big fat horrible R

I haven't joined in with Mum of One's #ISpy for a while but thought I could get a few things off my chest with this week's letter that is....R.

The big fat R that has been hanging over us for months has finally happened...

Ha ha - yes it is very stressful...for the wife.


It has been lingering in our lives for the last few months.

We have had many a conversation about the pros and cons of taking it versus the husband continuing to work away from home.

I have had sleepless nights worrying about what could happen if the husband never finds work. Again. Ever.

I sometimes think he is crazy to walk away from a very well paid job in these times of economic uncertainties.

I worry about the possibility of having to be a working mum and the sole earner in a years time if it all goes tits up.

I worry about the husband's ability to cut it as a SAHD.

I worry about the mortgage, the car loans, the life insurance costs.....

But it had to be done. For the sake of the husband's health, our marriage and the children - who were seriously missing him - it was the choice to make. Things were too complicated to just up sticks and relocate. So we had to face the big fat R and bravely take everything it may throw at us.

I am sure I will be spying more Rs in the coming months in our house: resentment and rage possibly? But for now I'm heading over to Mum of One's linky to see what else has been spied this week.


x x x



  1. A big (((Hug)))
    And to say that whenever the big R has cropped up in my life, it has always turned out to be for a good Reason, a chance to Re-assess and actually no bad thing .. so remember, it all happens for a Reason - a good Reason The next challenge is round the corner and the next Role will be fabulous
    xx Ems (aka as Windmill Kitchen xx)

  2. Sorry to here this, I hope that things work out though. Sometimes it's not always a bad thing (although it always seems it at first) and good things come from it x

  3. Oh that is rubbish! It is so hard when something like that happens but hopefully it will give you a chance to look at things and reassess it all. At least you are working as it would probably seem much worse if you weren't! Hope everything works out x

  4. Oh lordy I really feel for you. Hope you can turn it into a positive x

  5. Oh no - sorry to hear that. As Emily said hopefully it can be turned into a positive, a chance for a change of direction or to try something that he's maybe fancied doing in the past but hasn't been able to focus on because of work x

  6. Oh no! I am so sorry lovely. Obviously things are going to be tricky for a bit but, like Emily said, it may work out for the best. I was made redundant once. It broke my spirit for a few months. However, the daft buggers realised they wanted me back and re-employed me on a better salary. You just never know. I really hope all works out. Must try and sort out a Bristol night/afternoon/gossip/wine session soon x

  7. Glad you have made the decision - I'm sure its the right one!!! Good luck hunni, and enjoy your hubby being around a bit more!

    Much love to you guys xx

  8. I bet it's really stressful but you really never know what's round the corner. Maybe he should start a blog? He could be the next big thing ;)

  9. Sorry to read this, hope things improve soon for you xx

  10. It's a horrible feeling, one which I had a couple of years back.

    Hopefully, as it was for me, it will be a blessing in disguise :-)

  11. I'm sorry you've had this happen, but as the others have said, it may be a blessing in disguise, I've known that to turn out to be the case for many friends in the past! x

  12. It is scary but I hope it is the start of something new and exciting too! *crosses fingers*

  13. My husband was made redundant and was unemplyed for 2 years. He's employed again now and although I wouldn't say it was an improvement necessarily he does have a slightly shorter commute and he did get to spend time with the kids (but he was rubbish at being a SAHD - alright at the dad bit but crap at the housework bit!) I was then made redundant 6 months after he went back to work - I am now working again and similarly financially we are far worse off but you get used to managing (I'm an expert at getting the best deals in Supermarkets and eagle eyed in the spotting of yellow stickers!) The positives are that we do have more time with the kids so although I can't pretend it's an easy time we have got through it and you never know for some people it's the best thing that ever happened. Hope it all works out OK for you x

  14. Sorry to hear you're going through a tumultuous time, hopefully something positive will come out of it. I took a vol. redundancy once a few years back and over all I would say it was a positive part of my life, though it felt very precarious at the time!


I appreciate all comments, thank you! x x

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