21 February 2017

Moving on

It is almost 2.30 in the afternoon and I am sat at the table regularly glancing up at the clock. It is getting to the time of day when I clock watch in preparation for heading out of the door to re-trace the thousands of steps that have trodden their way to our local primary school and back; nearly seven years and counting. But today there is a pause in that journey. Today we are moving on. Today my babies are walking themselves home and I have been instructed to stay in and lock the door so my girl can use her new key to let them in. Today, as I ran part of my route along the pavement they'll be walking back home along later, I starting worrying. Worrying about the traffic, worrying about strangers, worrying about their safety, worrying about them growing up too fast. But they are moving on and as hard as I try I can't stop that.
Moving on // 76sunflowersOn the theme of 'Moving on' I am thinking of how those words play currently in my life. I am focusing hard on moving my career in a different direction with a new challenge but some brave steps will need to be taken and I'm not always feeling brave. We are hopefully moving on with our house; making more space as the children get bigger, creating more space for quiet times and busy family times. I have spent some constructive time in the garden moving it on from a too long forgotten space towards making it a place we want to spend our time in as Spring approaches. Time is ticking by again and as we move on towards Spring there are little signs of it hidden beneath the overgrown shrubs and rickety fences. I look ahead to Summer then scowl at myself for wishing my life away.
Moving on // 76sunflowersBut isn't that something we are all guilty off? Moving on too fast. Wishing it was next week, next month, next season, next year for one reason or another. Maybe we need to hold onto the day we are currently living in; appreciate it regardless of how dull the weather may be or how nothing really went to plan and see it as a day that we are alive in. Grasp onto the gratitude that I mused about last year.
Life is precious.
Plans can be made then with a snap of a finger, a few words from a doctor and those plans are gone; the excitement in Grandma's eyes replaced by tears, the plans for a garden in Cornwall for Granddad swept away as he is told that the cancer that has cleared in one area has decided, in it's shitty wisdom, to travel somewhere else up his body and take root there. 
My babies are unaware.
This part of moving on can be put on hold for as long as possible.

I don't want to end feeling too sad but moving on is inevitable and James sing about it beautifully.

I've just looked up at the clock; it's 3.30 and I can hear the key in the front door!
x x x

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